I wake up, and I see the blue gingham blanket that is loosing its color in the middle, it’s pulled up to my eyeballs, a cocoon, keeping me from the rest of the world.
I pull it down,
open my eyes,
and see the same damn curtains that I’ve had since I was fourteen.
Pink, blue, green, yellow….AH I WANT TO SCREAM!
How is this my life?
I wake up, everyday, and go, how is this my life? I’m not complaining, I’m frustrated. I KNOW things could be worse, I just wish right now things were better. I’m sick of the blessings that come in disguise; I’d prefer some blessings that are just, well, obvious blessings. I struggle to understand what I did wrong. Where did I go wrong?
I was a good kid! I ate my vegetables. I didn’t drink. I listened to my parents. I got good grades. I got into a masters program at one of the best universities on the planet. But, I chose to do arts education, at a time when teachers all of a sudden have been made public enemy number one. The rationale behind that? I have no idea. All I know, is that I’m drowning in this field.
Don’t get me wrong; I know I’m not the only one. All of my teacher friends my own age have multiple jobs. And I’m not talking two, I’m talking like three or four, myself included.
Two of our Write Teachers are experienced baristas at Starbucks, camp counselors, MAC make up artists, AND SUBSTITUTE TEACHERS. Another one of our Write Teachers is a waitress, a night school teacher, and a substitute. Yet ANOTHER Write Teacher works at Kohl’s Department Stores full-time, is a substitute teacher full-time, and is spending her waking seconds pursuing the graduate degree that is required of all teachers if we want to make sure we have a job.
And yet…we don’t have health insurance. We drive cars that were made before all of our students were born. We live with our parents because rent in “downstate” New York is just not possible when you make ninety dollars a day.
I followed my passion. I wanted to make a difference. I wanted to TEACH. And yes, I do…part time. But at what point do you give up? At one point do you make a change, at one point do you say, something’s got to give…